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work eclipse life 07 Oct 2007 So - it's been a month since I last posted. I'm just very bad with that sort of thing - and since it's senior year and I'm failing precalc I pretty much decided to hold off on a whole bunch of stuff until I get myself together. That means no roleplaying, very little graphic design, and no writing - which has hurt the most. Hopefully, by the time November rolls around I'll have my grades together because that's when the National Novel Writers Month starts and there's no way I'm missing that this year. I have two ideas for it and I'm not letting it to to crap again like I did last year. I wrote only 2000 out of the 50000 words you're supposed to do. -.-' Which was really a blow to my writers ego. A very, very big blow. But I got over it. OH! I got the job at the library - so now I'm officially a library page in the Fairfax County system. And I also have money - which is good as the college applications are about to get incredibly expensive.I don't know where I want to go anymore and I'm not even sure it fully matters. My biggest things is that it has to have a really good international law program and that I have to be able to live out of my house. I desperately need space away from my family. I mean, I love them and everything but I need some independence which won't happen unless I move out. I'm seventeen and I've still got to ask my mom if I can go out and hang with my very responsible friend. It's a bother. And I've pretty much lost all confidence that I'm getting anywhere near Georgetown. I'm still applying of course - because otherwise I'll always wonder what would have happened if I didn't. But I'll probably end up at GMU or something. Which isn't exactly bad - it's just twenty minutes from my place. But I already told my mom - if I end up going there I'm living on campus regardless of what she says. And she says that that's okay - so we'll see how that ends up. I really don't know what I'm supposed to do about my dad - I really just don't care about him at all anymore. If possible, I wouldn't talk to him or see him for the rest of my life and I'd be in complete bliss because the fact of the matter is for the past four or five years he's brought nothing but problems, trouble and a lot of heart ache into my life. And it's a fact that he doesn't care too much for me either so I don't know why he keeps emailing me with scathing remarks and just more and more problems. He keeps trying to force a confrontation and I don't want that. Because my father has yet to see me truly angry - he's only ever seen me cry and sob but he's never seen me angry. And if we end up in a confrontation so close to my eighteenth birthday I'm going to let loose all my pent up rage from the past few years, which he most certainly is not going to like. actually i don't know what to say to you. i find you more and more to be a liar and a coward unwilling to accept responsibility for your own actions and decisions, but rather attempt to place the blame on others. you know for a fact that you don't come here because you don't want to come and when i gave you a choice you decided not to come. yet, you lie to india and asma and tell them i told you not to come. i find this to be truly "LOW-LIFE".your mother has taught you well. may Allah have mercy upon you although, i'm sure that has absolutely no meaning for you.it is as if Allah doesn't exist for you or at least He is not aware of what you are doing or what is in your heart. i warn you, Allah knows all and no one can decieve Him. only a hypocrite decieves the people and thinks nothing of Allah. beware of the wrath of Allah. was salaam..., That's what he sent me on Friday. Who would want to keep having to deal with that? I don't and I refuse to, but if he keeps trying to force a confrontation I don't know what I'll do... comment? (0) new blog new host 08 Sep 2007 I was planning on posting last night, but I got so tired so fast that by the time I had finished coding the layout (which took me TWO FRIGGIN DAYS) and then fixing Cutenews so that it would fit the layout my eyes kept sliding closed. This is the first tables layout I've made, like ever and I love it. Even though the navigation and the main post section aren't exactly aligned -they're like 5 pixels off from each other and I can't figure out why they're like that. If any of you guys might know why, tell me. It'd help me a lot.Anyway, I started school on Tuesday, after Labor Day. It's my senior year and I've had to start all over again at a new school. It's not too bad, though it could be a lot better. My classes are okay, my teachers are nice enough and the students are okay. It's just that I don't know anyone and even though I'm friendly (at least, I like to think I am) I'm not very good at just walking up to people and going 'Hey, I'm new. Wanna be friends?' Most of the time, I just kind of sit and depress myself until some one takes pity on me or something. Which is really sort of pathetic. But, I've been making progress - I've made friendish acquaintances in both my French and Japanese classes which is good and I've become more talkative in my Philosophy class which is a must if I intend to pass that class at all. Anyway, here's my schedule: BURGUNDY DAYS My scheduling is actually pretty good - I've got all the classes I like on Gold day and Burgundy day is finished off with one of my favorite classes so it balances out. The only thing that really irks me about my classes is that in precalc I'm going to be taking trigonometry - again. For the third time!!!! It's just really annoying because I already took it twice last year. Yesterday I applied for a job at this library that's opening in around two weeks a few minutes away from me as a Page, which is the person that basically puts the books back on the shelves and that sort of thing. It pays okay and I think I have a real shot at getting it. Inshallah, I will. 'Cause I really need a job to start paying for my testing and college apps and stuff. Which I need to start on. Soon. I started my George Washington application in the beginning of August but its been so long since I looked at it I'm sure its gone and I'll have to start all over again. -.-'' And Georgetown doesn't have an online application so I have to that by hand so that I can schedule an interview with an alumn in the next few months. x.x Its all very stressful. Pray that I make it through all of this with out a heart attack or something. comment? (0) testing for the first post 08 Sep 2007 fixed. <3 comment? (0) Content Management Powered by CuteNews |